Former Miami Beach resident may be next Israeli ambassador to U.S.

Ron Dermer, a top adviser to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and who has family ties to two former Miami Beach mayors, may soon become the next Israeli ambassador to the United States, according to reports in an Israeli newspaper.

The daily Makor Rishon reported late Friday that the current ambassador, Michael Oren, plans to step down from his post in the spring of 2013 and would be replaced by Dermer.

Dermer was nicknamed “Bibi’s Brain’’ in a 2011 Tablet profile that compared his relationship with Netanyahu to that of Karl Rove and former President George W. Bush.

Dermer, a Florida-born conservative, reportedly planned Republican Mitt Romney’s trip to Israel last summer during the U.S. presidential campaign.

He has been Netanyahu’s senior adviser since 2009.

The Prime Minister’s Bureau and the Prime Minister’s Office declined comment on the newspaper’s report, according to Israeli media.

Family members in Miami Beach contacted by The Miami Herald also declined to comment.

Dermer is the brother of former Miami Beach Mayor David Dermer, whose first campaign he managed, and the son of former mayor Jay Dermer.

His father was a mayor in the 1960’s and his older brother David was mayor from 2001-2007.

Just two weeks before Ron’s bar mitzvah, his father died of a heart attack. Growing up in Miami Beach, he attended a Jewish day school.

Ron Dermer and his younger sister Esther moved to Israel in the late ’90s after completing their studies. He earned a degree in finance and management from the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and a degree in philosophy, politics and economics from Oxford University.

For three years, he wrote a column for the Jerusalem Post and, along with former Soviet dissident and Israeli politician Natan Sharansky, co-authored the book, “The Case for Democracy: The Power of Freedom to Overcome Tyranny and Terror.’’

He and his wife Rhonda have three children: Mayor, Zev and Ezra.

Dermer had to give up his U.S. citizenship in 2005 when he was appointed Minister for Economic Affairs to the Israeli Embassy.

In a 2011 interview with The Tablet, Dermer said he still thinks of himself as an American.

“When I think about Israel, I always ask myself, I call it the WWAD question: ‘What would America do?’”

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Fiscal-cliff deal could be ready for a vote tomorrow

WASHINGTON — Start holding your breath — a fiscal-cliff deal could be ready for a vote by tomorrow.

President Obama and congressional leaders emerged yesterday from last-ditch negotiations at the White House with a grim new determination to seal a deal before the New Year’s Day deadline, when big tax hikes and deep federal spending cuts otherwise will whack America.

“We’ve got to get this done,” Obama declared at a press conference following the 65-minute Oval Office meeting.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) sounded an unusual bipartisan tone after the meeting, agreeing to work on a deal in time for a vote tomorrow.

AFP/Getty Images

HEAT’S ON: President Obama speaks at the White House yesterday following his meeting with congressional leaders about a fiscal-cliff deal.

At a minimum, Obama wants a vote on a scaled-down package that keeps Bush-era tax cuts for family incomes up to $250,000, extends unemployment benefits and postpones spending cuts.

The president said he was “modestly optimistic” that one of these deals would get done in time. But he plans to keep pressure on Congress with an appearance tomorrow morning on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

The Reid-McConnell deal could raise the tax-hike threshold to $400,000 to attract more Republican support, as well as extend the current inheritance-tax rate and dozens of business tax breaks that are also set to expire Tuesday.

“We’ll be working hard to see if we can get this done in the next 24 hours,” McConnell said on the Senate floor.

Reid told the chamber that whatever they come up with will be “imperfect” because they are dealing with big numbers and complicated issues.

“Some people aren’t going to like it. Some people will like it less, but that’s where we are,” he said.

After the meeting, Obama used the White House bully pulpit to put public pressure on Republican leaders to let a proposal — even one that isn’t bipartisan — go to a vote.

Senate rules empower any member to hamstring legislation and House Republican leaders control what reaches the floor.

“If we don’t see an agreement between the two leaders in the Senate, I expect a bill to go on the floor . . . that makes sure taxes on middle-class families don’t go up,” Obama warned.

He said “ordinary folks” don’t understand why everything is a logjam in DC and lawmakers can’t just get the job done.

“The American people are not going to have any patience for a politically self-inflicted wound to our economy,” he said.

Obama, Reid and McConnell were joined at the White House by House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), Vice President Joe Biden and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner.

During the talks, Boehner told Obama the House would act on whatever legislation the Senate passes, either approving it or amending it, said a Boehner spokesman

Boehner has been sidelined from the negotiations since House Republicans abandoned his “Plan B” that would have limited the tax increases to millionaires.

Obama also issued an executive order to end the pay freeze on federal employees — a move that pumped up the salaries of Biden and members of Congress, The Weekly Standard reported yesterday.

Biden will snag an extra $6,379 each year, bringing his salary to $231,900, while US Senate and House members will make an additional $900.

smiller@nypost.com

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Resources for South Florida small businesses

•  Florida Small Business Development Centers. Counseling and training at centers in South Florida and around the state, www.floridasbdc.org.

•  SCORE Workshops, online training and free coaching at local branches, www.score.org, miamidade.score.org, browardscore.org, southbroward.score.org

• Florida Women’s Business Center. Provides training, mentoring and resources to women entrepreneurs, http://www.flwbc.org.

• The Commonwealth Institute. Helps women entrepreneurs, CEOs and corporate executives build businesses through peer mentoring programs and annually honors top women-led businesses in Florida, www.commonwealthinstitute.org.

The Hispanic Business Initiative Fund of Florida. Nonprofit, with a Miami office, provides free bilingual seminars, workshops and technical assistance to Hispanic entrepreneurs launching or expanding businesses in Florida. www.HBIFflorida.org.

•  Barry University, Barry Institute for Community and Economic Development. Counseling, workshops and training for Miami-Dade small businesses through the Entrepreneurial Institute, www.barry.edu/biced.

•  Broward College. Offers a 24-credit entrepreneurship certificate, www.broward.edu. For noncredit business courses, including training through its Entrepreneurial Institute, http://www.broward.edu/ce.

•  Florida International University, Pino Global Entrepreneurship Center. Workshops, webinars and more, entrepreneurship.fiu.edu.

•  Miami Dade College. Offers a 12-credit entrepreneurship certificate program, www.mdc.edu/business. For noncredit classes, www.mdc.edu/ce. The Meek Entrepreneurial Education Center offers many programs, www.mdc.edu/north/eec.

•  University of Miami, The Launch Pad. Workshops, networking, resources and coaching, www.thelaunchpad.org.

•  Southern Florida Minority Supplier Development Council. Connects large businesses with minority businesses across South Florida, www.sfmsdc.org.

•  Startup Florida. Programs and training, plus register your company in this Startup America initiative, www.startupfl.org.

•  Partners for Self-Employment. Offers training, technical assistance and loans in Miami-Dade and Broward. www.partnersforselfemployment.com

•  Miami Bayside Foundation. Provides loans of $10,000 to $50,000 to minority-owned businesses in the city of Miami. www.miamibaysidefoundation.org..

•  MetroBroward. Nonprofit offers financing, incubation and training for businesses in low- to moderate-income areas of Broward, www.metrobroward.org.

• ACCION USA. Provides microloans up to $50,000 and financial education, with South Florida offices and programs, www.accionusa.org.

ClearPoint Credit Counseling Solutions. Nonprofit offers one-on-one, over the phone or Internet credit counseling to entrepreneurs and consumers with poor credit. 305-463-6739, ext 1019 or www.clearpointccs.org .

•  Incubate Miami. Start-up businesses in technology can get mentorship, office space and now early-stage funding, www.incubatemiami.com.

• The Technology Business Incubator at the Research Park at Florida Atlantic University. Offers mentors, investor connections and business services, http://www.research-park.org

•  South Florida Urban Ministries’ ASSETS Business Development. Nonprofit offers small business development program including one-on-one business coaching and consulting in areas of start-up, marketing, finance and more, www.sflum.org.

• United Way Center for Financial Stability. Center offers a wide array of tools and resources to help families and individuals achieve financial independence. www.unitedwaymiami.org/WhatWeDo/CFS.

•  The Startup Forum. Organization’s mission is to foster the development of vibrant regional startup communities, www.startupforum.net.

•  StartupDigest. Begun in Silicon Valley as a place to find events for entrepreneurs, this has spread to other cities, including Miami, www.startupdigest.com

If your organization should be on this list, email ndahlberg@miamiherald.com

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Miami-Dade camping law may clash with Supreme Court ruling

When Miami-Dade commissioners voted unanimously this month to ban overnight camping at “county facility property,” they opened the doors to debate about how police should apply the measure to homeless people.

The action was a clear shot at the Occupy Wall Streeters who flooded public spaces, including outside County Hall, in the summer of 2011.

In addition to making it illegal to camp on county property, the measure toughens permitting rules for public gatherings and permissible “free speech’’ zones. It also gives police the authority to arrest violators, including the homeless.

But a 25-year-old court ruling could present a conflict, some legal observers say. A 1988 U.S. Supreme Court decision in the Pottinger vs. The City of Miami case found that Michael Pottinger and about 6,000 other homeless people in Miami could not be harassed or punished for occupying public property because doing so would violate their fundamental right to travel, and to be free from cruel and unusual punishment.

The new ordinance specifically provides that if police direct a homeless person occupying a county facility to leave, the officer first must look for sleeping space for the homeless person at a county shelter. If there is none, or if the person refuses the option, he or she can be arrested for trespassing if they remain or return to the space.

An ACLU lawyer said the measure could again open the door for police to harass and arrest homeless people.

“We’re prepared to litigate should there be issues in the future,” said attorney Dan Palugyai, who sits on the board of the Greater Miami Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union. “Our past experience tells us it’s likely, even probable.”

During the commission meeting, County Mayor Carlos Gimenez said the homeless — at least in Miami — were protected from arrest by the Pottinger case.

The new law defines impermissible camping as the “setting up of tents, shacks, or shelters for sleeping activities or making preparations to sleep [including the laying down of bedding for the purposes of sleeping], from the hours of sunset to sunrise.”

Miami First Amendment lawyer Tom Julin said he’s troubled by that wording.

“They’re not allowing the general public to do the same type things that they, or organizations they approve of, do in a park,” he said, referring to the ING Miami Marathon and some concerts at Bayfront Park, both of which allow people to spend the night, even if there is no formal permission granted.

Commissioner Lynda Bell, who sponsored the ordinance, said it was “not meant to harm anyone.’’ After some homeless advocates expressed concern, the language was added directing police to first find shelter for homeless people and to arrest only as a last resort.

“We obviously think it’s legally sufficient,’’ said Assistant County Attorney Danny Frastai.

Still not entirely clear: How the new law would apply to county parks like Matheson Hammock Park or Haulover Beach Park. At the final meeting before the full board of Miami-Dade County Commissioners when the ordinance was adopted, it was amended from not allowing camping on “county property,” to not allowing it on “county facility property.”

“We interpret facility to mean some type of structure, like a building,” said Frastai. “If it’s a park that has a structure, we’d have to look at it.”

That’s just sloppy language, noted Palugyai, the homeless advocate. “Hopefully, there will be opportunities to clean it up.” The Occupy Wall Street crowd gathered on the west lawn at County Hall in Miami from the summer of 2011 until February, when they were finally evicted. The county says it spent $17,000 cleaning up the mess left behind.

Though the group obtained a permit to camp out there, Miami-Dade Internal Services Director Lester Sola said they should have been directed to a different spot. He blamed the confusion on vague wording in the old code, which was what led to the revision. During the discussion, Commissioner Jean Monestime wanted to know why the county needed to legislate a camping ban.

“My apprehension here is we may be opening a can of worms here.”

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Apple loses another copyright lawsuit in China: Xinhua

SHANGHAI (Reuters) – A Chinese court has fined Apple Inc 1 million yuan ($ 160,400) for hosting third-party applications on its App Store that were selling pirated electronic books, the official Xinhua news agency reported on Friday.

Apple is to pay compensation to eight Chinese writers and two companies for violating their copyrights, the Beijing No.2 Intermediate People’s Court ruled on Thursday, Xinhua said.

Earlier in the year, a group of Chinese authors filed the suit against Apple, saying an unidentified number of apps on its App Store sold unlicensed copies of their books. The group of eight authors was seeking 10 million yuan in damages.

“We are disappointed at the judgment. Some of our best-selling authors only got 7,000 yuan. The judgment is a signal of encouraging piracy,” Bei Zhicheng, a spokesman for the group, told Reuters.

Apple said in a statement that it takes copyright infringement complaints “very seriously”.

“We’re always updating our service to better assist content owners in protecting their rights,” Apple spokeswoman Carolyn Wu said.

China has the world’s largest Internet and mobile market by number of users, but piracy costs software companies billions of dollars each year.

Apple, whose products enjoy great popularity in China, has faced a string of legal headaches this year. In July, Apple paid 60 million yuan to a Chinese firm, Proview Technology, to settle a long-running lawsuit over the iPad trademark in China.

($ 1 = 6.2360 Chinese yuan)

(Reporting by Shanghai Newsroom and Melanie Lee; Editing by Kazunori Takada and Matt Driskill)

Tech News Headlines – Yahoo! News

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Police in India punished after being accused of belittling, ignoring rape victims

NEW DELHI — The victim of a gang-rape in New Delhi fought for her life at a Singapore hospital Friday as officials in the Indian state of Punjab fired and suspended police officers accused of ignoring the rape of another woman, who then committed suicide.

Indian authorities have been accused of belittling rape victims and refusing to file cases against their attackers, further deterring victims — already under societal pressure to keep the assaults quiet — from reporting the crimes.

However, the gang-rape of the 23-year-old student on a moving bus in the capital two weeks ago has brought new focus on police and community attitudes toward woman in India. Demonstrators in New Delhi have demanded stronger protections for women and stronger punishment for rapists.

Authorities in Punjab took action Thursday when an 18-year-old woman killed herself by drinking poison a month after she told police she was gang-raped.

State authorities suspended one police officer and fired two others on accusations they delayed investigating and taking action in the case. The three accused in the rape were only arrested Thursday night, a month after the crime was reported.

"This is a very sensitive crime, I have taken it very seriously," said Paramjit Singh Gill, a top police officer in the city of Patiala.

The Press Trust of India reported that the woman was raped Nov. 13 and reported the attack to police Nov. 27. But police harassed the girl, asked her embarrassing questions and took no action against the accused, PTI reported, citing police sources.

Authorities in the eastern state of Chhattisgarh also suspended a police officer on accusations he refused to register a rape complaint from a woman who said she had been attacked by a driver.

Meanwhile, doctors in Singapore said the New Delhi gang-rape victim remained in extremely critical condition, had suffered a heart attack, a lung and abdominal infection and "significant" brain injury.

"The patient is currently struggling against the odds, and fighting for her life," said Mount Elizabeth Hospital chief executive Dr. Kelvin Loh.

Police have arrested six people in connection with the attack, which left the victim with severe internal injuries.

"We wish she recovers and comes back to us and that no time is lost in bringing the perpetrators of such a barbaric act to justice," said Sonia Gandhi, head of the ruling Congress Party.

Other politicians have come under fire for comments insulting the protesters and diminishing the crime.

On Friday, Abhijit Mukherjee, a national lawmaker and the son of India's president, apologized for calling the protesters "highly dented and painted" women, who go from discos to demonstrations.

"I tender my unconditional apology to all the people whose sentiments got hurt," he told NDTV news.

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5 issues small business owners will face in 2013

In 2013, small business owners will contend with many of the same issues that made it hard to run their companies during the past 12 months.

They’re also heading into the new year with a lot of uncertainty. It’s unlikely that negotiations in Congress will resolve all of lawmakers’ disagreements over tax and budget issues that affect small businesses. And there are still many questions about the implications of the healthcare law for small companies.

That points to continued caution — and perhaps slow hiring — among the nation’s small companies.

“Uncertainty is the bane of every small business,” says Scott Shane, a professor of entrepreneurship at Case Western Reserve University’s Weatherhead School of Management in Cleveland. “Their only rational response is to pull in their horns and slow down.”

Small businesses aren’t likely to get much encouragement from the economy. It’s expected to grow by no more than 3 percent in 2013, according to the Federal Reserve. That’s a moderate pace, better than the 1.7 percent that the economy grew during the first three quarters of 2012. But it’s also far from robust.

Here’s a look at some of the issues facing small businesses in the coming year:

TAXES

Lawmakers are still haggling over what’s called the fiscal cliff, the combination of billions of dollars in tax increases and budget cuts. Even if Congress reaches an agreement, small business owners won’t have the certainty they need, according to Todd McCracken, president of the National Small Business Association, a group that lobbies on behalf of small companies.

“It almost surely won’t be comprehensive enough that we won’t be revisiting it next year,” McCracken says. He’s concerned that there’ll be another fiscal cliff in six months — which would mean more negotiations and more uncertainty.

Many small business owners are worried about their personal tax rates. Sole proprietors, partners and owners of what are called S corporations, all report the income from their businesses on their individual Form 1040 returns. That means their companies are in effect taxed at personal rates, which can be higher than corporate rates.

One of the most important tax provisions for small businesses, what’s known as the Section 179 deduction, will shrink to $25,000 next year from $125,000 in 2012. The deduction, which applies to equipment purchases, was $500,000 in 2011. Congress can increase the deduction at any time, even after 2013 has begun. But for the time being, business owners can’t count on getting a big break.

“It’s a huge change for companies planning on making investments,” McCracken says.

It’s not known if Congress will extend the 2 percentage point payroll tax cut that workers have had for two years. If it doesn’t, consumers will have less money in their paychecks to spend, and that is likely to affect retailers and any other small businesses that sell directly to the public.

HEALTHCARE

Healthcare has been another source of uncertainty for small business owners. The new year will bring some, but probably not all, of the answers to questions about how the new healthcare law will affect them. Many will have to devote some time to understanding the law — or hire someone to help them do it.

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Megachurch members raise $600,000 for charity in two days

This is truly a Christmas miracle.

When Christ Fellowship Church asked its parishioners to help make "an everlasting impact on the hurting and under resourced this month", the idea was simply to raise $337,000 on the weekend of Dec. 15 and 16.

The result was overwhelming, when thousands of families attending one of the megachurch’s six campuses throughout Miami-Dade County decided it was truly more blessed to give than to receive, and raised more than $601,000 in two days.

According to Aimee Artiles, a spokeswoman from the church, "Thousands of churchgoers waited in line to give, using debit cards, writing checks, and turning in cash." Every penny of the money collected will be used to help the hurting and under-resourced in Miami and India," she said.

Artiles said more than half the money will stay in Miami, and will be used by a nonprofit organization affiliated with the church, Caring for Miami, to help meet the dental, medical and mental needs of thousands in South Florida. Caring for Miami’s most recent tax return lists the organization’s largest activities as including counseling on abortion alternatives, post-abortion counseling, assistance to homeless people, and aid to proselytizing activities.

The Rev. Rick Blackwood, senior pastor of the church said, "Christ Fellowship is blessed with the capacity to dream big. This December, we challenged everyone, including our own staff, to give big and be a light to their community and the world. the results were astounding."

Even the children’ were encouraged to bring in a new gift for a local foster child, as well as donate their own pennies to help another child in need. The children alone, raised $3,814.05 in pennies. The middle and high school youngsters were encouraged to leave their own shoes behind after service and more than 1,855 pairs of shoes were

collected in one weekend and will be shipped to others in need in countries like El Salvador, the Dominican Republic, Jamaica and Haiti.

Christ Fellowship is one of the region’s largest churches, with campuses in downtown Miami, Palmetto Bay, West Kendall, Homestead, Redland and Coral Gables. For more information about the church, call 786-486-7339 or visit www.cfmiami.org.

Pastor honored

On Jan. 5, Bishop Walter H. Richardson, one of the longest serving pastors in Miami-Dade County, will celebrate his 90th birthday. To honor him, his church family will have a gala dinner at Miami Shores Country Club, followed by a special worship service on Jan. 6, in the church sanctuary at 1351 NW 67th St. in Liberty City.

Richardson is one of the county’s unsung heroes. He quietly goes about doing all the good he can for the downtrodden and those who are victims in natural disasters throughout the world. And he hasn’t just started doing good; when millions were homeless during the Rwanda crisis, he spearheaded a movement in the church to collect t-shirts, soap, medical supplies and ponchos for children whose parents had been killed in the civil war and were living in refugee camps. His efforts spilled over into the community and members of the congregation met two evenings to pack the items, which the church then paid thousands of dollars to have the items shipped to Africa.

He did the same thing when there was a natural disaster and thousands in the United States, Haiti, the Bahamas, Jamaica and other Caribbean countries needed help.

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Temple Run was downloaded more than 2.5 million times on Christmas Day

Title Post: Temple Run was downloaded more than 2.5 million times on Christmas Day
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Storm dumps snow, rain on region, flooding roadways and leaving messy travel conditions

EPA

Motorists make their way through snow fall and traffic along the Merritt Parkway in New Canaan, Connecticut Wednesday.

Whipping wind and soaking rain pounded the region overnight, flooding area roadways and leaving a messy morning commute for travelers.

The northeaster dumped a snow-rain mix on New York and New Jersey, leaving slick and sloppy driving conditions.

That storm also caused flight delays at LaGuardia, Liberty International and JFK airports, while causing MTA officials to shut down 3 Train service between 96th and 148th streets.

According to AccuWeather.com, snowfall accumulations reached eight inches in Syracuse and about 11 inches in Buffalo.

Flooding is expected during this morning's high tide cycle in low-lying coastal areas in Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island and Long Island.

Some areas in northern New Jersey are already experiencing minor flooding, including Red Bank and Neptune City in Monmouth County.

While the rain should taper by 9 a.m., the wind should remain, with the National Weather Service calling for wing gusts of up to 38 miles per hour in the city.

Tomorrow should be sunny and clear.

And then? Possibly more snow Saturday. Meteorologists are keeping an eye on this weekend's weather potential.

"It's too early to see if there will be any accumulation," AccuWeather.com forecaster Tom Kines said.

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Deadline to apply for free foreclosure case reviews is Monday

Florida residents who believe they suffered from shoddy foreclosure practices have through Monday to apply for a free case review that could net them up to $125,000 if wrongdoing is found.

The program, which is overseen by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, began in November 2011 with an estimated 4 million eligibility letters mailed nationwide.

As of late September, just 3.8 percent of Floridians who were sent letters about their eligibility for the review have applied.

Cases are eligible for review if the foreclosure was on a primary residence in some stage of foreclosure during 2009 and 2010. The foreclosure had to have been handled by one of 24 banks or mortgage servicers named in consent orders crafted in response to findings of foreclosure deficiencies. The affected servicers can be found at independentforeclosurereview.com.

Problems contacting borrowers who may have been evicted from foreclosed homes, as well as borrower fatigue in applying for aid programs probably contributed to the limited response, some foreclosure defense attorneys said.

“A lot of these homeowners have been promised a lot of things in the past that were never fulfilled,” said attorney Ron Kaniuk, of Sachs Sax Caplan in Boca Raton. “It’s the law of diminishing returns. Once you are disappointed a few times, you stop filling stuff out.”

The Independent Foreclosure Review is separate from the $25 billion attorneys general settlement reached in February.

Nationwide, the return rate of borrowers responding to eligibility letters was about 5.3 percent through Sept. 27. Since then, an additional 121,677 borrowers have applied nationwide, said Bryan Hubbard, a spokesman for the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency.

The original deadline to apply for the review was April 30. It was pushed back to July 31 and then Dec. 31.

Reviewers are looking for several problems including failure to put a homeowner on a permanent loan modification after he or she successfully completed a trial period, foreclosing on a borrower while he or she was current on payments under a loan modification, and not providing a borrower with proper notification during a foreclosure.

Remediation to borrowers can include credit fixes, reimbursement of improperly charged fees, and lump-sum payments of between $500 and $125,000.

For more information about the Independent Foreclosure Review, call 1-888-952-9105.

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Outdoorsy fun for the New Year’s holiday

So, as Miss Ella once sang, What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?

Many of you, of course, will ring in 2013 with champagne and dancing at one of the clubs in Miami Beach or downtown Miami — and many of these same people will wake up with a hangover Tuesday only to wonder why they spent $2,000 to be in the same space as R&B/hip-hop act Drake and a DJ at the Fontainebleau or depressed that they spent $1,500 for a VIP table at the Catalina’s Studio 54 party to hear ’70s disco when they could have played Donna, Gloria and the Village People at any old time on iTunes for a few houseguests.

Clubbing not your thing? Good thing you live in South Florida, where going outside generally makes sense at this time of year. Here are some suggestions for activities, with an accent on the great outdoors and even a little fitness thrown in for good measure.

King Mango Strut

The annual spoof of the Orange Bowl Parade — or whatever some politician wants to call it now, as in ‘La Gran Naranja’ — has been “putting the ‘nut’ back in ‘Coconut Grove’ since 1981,” its ads tout. This time around, being an election year should provide plenty of fodder, and not just the silliness going on in West Kendall and Brickell, where some people are still waiting to cast a vote in the presidential race. (Obama won, go home.) The snarky parade pokes good-natured fun at the people and things behind the events that made the news snap during the year. This year’s grand marshal will be Clint Eastwood’s chair, fresh from the Republican National Convention.

This year’s parade takes place at 2 p.m. Sunday in downtown Coconut Grove on the corner of Commodore Plaza and Main Highway. The wacky participants turn left onto Main Highway and then left onto Grand Avenue at CocoWalk. Get comfy along the street and prepare to giggle. Call the Mango Hotline at 305-582-0955 for information.

The orange rises

You can go traditional and watch the ball rise in downtown Miami at the Bayfront Park Amphitheater New Year’s shindig, La Gran Naranja. The free event features music and the midnight countdown for the climb of the Big Orange along the side of the Hotel InterContinental, followed by fireworks. Be there at 301 N. Biscayne Blvd. Call 305-358-7550.

Just want the fireworks part? Miami Beach’s New Year’s Eve Party offers a free fireworks celebration at midnight on the beach near Ocean Drive and Eighth Street, if you can tear yourself away from Carl Cox at Mansion and Calvin Harris at Liv. Call 305-673-7400.

Bike It

Shark Valley, on the Tamiami Trail about 35 miles into the Everglades, is a real South Florida experience. Cycle amid gators — and we’re not talking the University of Florida variety. Alligators, wading birds and turtles frolic freely in the greenery along the 15-mile round-trip bike path. A multilevel observation at the midpoint offers a nice break spot for a boxed lunch or photo ops. There are no shortcuts, but you can opt for a tram tour. Call 305-221-8776.

Other leisurely bike rides around town include the shaded 13 or so miles of the Old Cutler Trail in South Miami, and you can pop over to Pinecrest Gardens for the Sunday Green Market, one of South Florida’s best farmers markets. North Dade residents aren’t too far from the restored Hollywood Beach Broadwalk for some nice ocean views while cycling or strolling.

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Lady Gaga Documentary Announced

The nearly 33 million Little Monsters who follow Lady Gaga on Twitter got a massive Christmas present this morning as the singer revealed she'll soon be coming to a theater near you!

VIDEO - Lady Gaga Hosts Fame Picnic in Paris

"Merry Christmas little monsters," Gaga wrote. "Terry Richardson is making a #LadyGagaMOVIE documenting my life, the creation of ARTPOP + you!"

"Thank you for being so patient waiting for my new album ARTPOP I hope this gets u excited for things to come. I love you with all my heart!" Gaga announced her fourth album on August 6, 2012 and featured several of the songs in contention for inclusion on her recent Born This Wall Ball. Although no release date is yet known, it's rumored to be due out in Spring 2013.

VIDEO - The Secret Lady Gaga Never Told Beyonce

Gaga has previously collaborated with Richardson on countless magazine covers and 2011's Lady Gaga x Terry Richardson photobook.

Lady Gaga won't be the only major musician to be featured in a documentary next year. It was revealed on November 26 that HBO would be airing a Beyonce documentary on February 16, 2013.

VIDEO - Get A Sneak Peek at Beyonce's Documentary

The film promises extensive first-person footage -- some of it shot by Beyonce on her laptop -- in which she reflects on the realities of being a celebrity, the refuge she finds onstage and the joys of becoming a mother after giving birth to her daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, in January 2012. Watch a sneak peek below.

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Good Sam helps reunite girl, 7, with stolen dog

A 7-year-old girl got the best present ever yesterday — she was reunited with her best friend, who’d been dognapped by a coldhearted thief the day before.

“I couldn’t sleep last night without Marley smiling,” Mia Bendrat said of her little pal, a Cavalier King Charles spaniel stolen from in front of a Washington Heights grocery.

Her relieved mom, Angie Estrada, said, “It’s a Christmas miracle. Oh, yes!”

The hero of the holiday story is good Samaritan Tena Cohen, who was headed to the Greenmarket in Union Square at about 1:30 p.m. Monday when she heard a man yelling, “Dog for sale!”

Robert Miller

Mia Bendrat with Marley

Robert Miller

SAVIOR: Tena Cohen (above) paid $220 out of her own pocket to reunite Mia Bendrat with Marley, who had been stolen. “I’m not going to let Marley go now, no matter what!” Mia beamed after recovering the dog.

“It looked nervous and sad, and was kind of an older dog,” Cohen said. “I figured it was stolen.’’

She offered to buy the pooch.

“I said I had $100. He said the guy who owns it wants more” and pointed to a man, Cohen recalled.

The supposed “owner’’ was “very stoned, on drugs,” said Cohen, who teaches Spanish at Brooklyn Tech HS. “He said he paid $3,200 for the dog, and had it for years.”

Cohen then walked into a nearby Staples and made three debit-card purchases totaling $220.

Then she returned them for cash and went back to negotiate.

“I said, ‘Look, this is all the money I have,’ ” Cohen said. “He gave me the dog. I gave him the money.”

She took Marley to a vet and also called cops. Both men were gone by the time police arrived. But last night they picked up 29-year-old Brad Bacon, of Washington Heights, and charged him with grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property.

The vet checked out the dog for free and held him overnight. Cohen called a group called Cavalier Rescue USA.

Its president, Carolyn Stigler, remembered the story about Marley in yesterday’s Post.

Stigler contacted the vet, who called the Post reporter. She arranged for the dog to be taken to Mia’s family, to see if it was Marley. It was.

“This was my daughter’s Christmas wish,” said Estrada.

Until then, the family had been devastated.

“It was so sad,” Estrada added. “She sat in Marley’s nook and refused to dress up the tree.”

The happy ending came just in time.

“I can’t believe a grinch would steal our Marley,” Estrada said. “But the grinch didn’t win.’’

Mia chimed in, “I’m not going to let Marley go now, no matter what!”

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Miami: We’re still busiest cruise port

Florida’s ports are steaming bow-to-bow in the race to be the world’s businest cruise ship port.

Though some publications have reported Port Canaveral in the lead with 3,761,056 million for its fiscal year ending Sept. 30, PortMiami officials Monday said they had hosted 3,774,452 passengers during the same period, putting it slightly ahead. Fort Lauderdale’s PortEverglades reported 3,689,000 passengers for the period, putting it slightly behind the others in third place.

“We’re all very close,’’ said Paula Musto, PortMiami spokeswoman.

PortMiami has slipped below its previous high of 4 million plus passengers because of changing ship deployments, she said. That number is expected to again cruise past 4 million in 2013 as several new ships homeport in Miami.

Jane Wooldridge

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New generation of judges serving on federal bench in South Florida

For a fleeting moment this fall, U.S. District Judge Robert N. Scola Jr. declared in jest that he wished he were “king of the world.”

If he had such power, Scola said from the bench, he would deny a defense lawyer’s request to travel to Pakistan to question a group of defendants charged in a Miami terrorism case along with two Muslim clerics. Since the missing defendants weren’t present, the judge considered them “fugitives.’’

But the judge let the defense team make the upcoming trip against fierce opposition from prosecutors, because case law allows such extraordinary depositions, he found.

Scola, a former Miami-Dade prosecutor and state circuit court judge, relishes his role as one of three new members on South Florida’s federal bench, which is experiencing a generational sea change as the result of several retirements and presidential appointments.

“I knew I wanted to be a judge when I was 10 years old; my father was a judge in Massachusetts,” Scola said, during a brief December interview wedged between verdicts in the South Beach “bar-girls” trial and the sentencing of a mental-health clinic director convicted of Medicare fraud.

Over the past few years, the federal court in the Southern District of Florida has seen the departure of four judges — Daniel T.K. Hurley, Paul C. Huck, Alan S. Gold and Patricia A. Seitz — who have gone on “senior” status, meaning they handle lighter caseloads. Another federal judge, Adalberto Jordan, was confirmed this year as a member of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta.

Those five vacancies, in one of the busiest federal districts for criminal and civil cases in the country, accounted for about one-third of all the positions on the federal bench in South Florida.

The retirements have generated coveted openings that have been filled by Scola, 57; Kathleen M. Williams, 56, a former Miami federal public defender; and Robin S. Rosenbaum, 46, a former Fort Lauderdale federal magistrate judge. Rosenbaum, also a one-time federal prosecutor, was sworn in as a new U.S. district judge Dec. 13.

“It’s pretty obvious that Robin is never going to make a decent living,” 11th Circuit Judge Stanley Marcus, for whom Rosenbaum once clerked, quipped about her public-service career during her investiture in Fort Lauderdale federal court.

But then Marcus struck a more serious note, describing federal district judges as the “crucible of justice” in the U.S. court system. “I have to say, Robin, this is work you were born to do,” he said.

Another recent nominee: Miami-Dade Circuit Judge William L. Thomas, a former assistant public defender in both the state and federal system. Thomas is scheduled for confirmation as a federal judge in 2013. If confirmed, he would become the first openly gay black man appointed to a federal judgeship in the nation.

Michael Caruso, the Miami federal public defender who replaced Williams in August, said the appointment of federal judges is in many ways a “president’s most enduring legacy.”

“All presidents strive to appoint smart, fair and hardworking lawyers,” Caruso said, commenting on the four nominated by President Barack Obama in South Florida. “President Obama, in addition to choosing women and men who share these traits, has chosen those who’ve been trial lawyers in the criminal justice system and who have devoted a significant portion of their career to public service.”

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First photos of BlackBerry 10 ‘N-Series’ QWERTY smartphone leak

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Two pet pooches pilfered

Two adorable dogs were stolen from their masters in separate incidents — with one still missing, leaving his 7-year-old owner heartbroken for Christmas.

Marley (pictured), little Mia Bendrat’s Cavalier King Charles spaniel, was stolen from in front of a Washington Heights grocery store yesterday morning.

“He’s the Grinch that stole Christmas,” Mia said of the coldhearted thief who swiped Marley, which was tied to a pole in front of La Rosa Fine Foods on Broadway.

“When my mom told me the dog was lost, I started to cry. He’s my only dog,” she said of the pet she got for Christmas two years ago from her grandmother.

Mia, and her mother, Angie Estrade, put up 150 fliers around their neighborhood in hopes of finding Marley.

“Who would do this on Christmas Eve?” Estrada fumed.

In an another puppy pilfering, thieves in a Williamsburg, Brooklyn, home invasion stole a 6-month-old Yorkshire terrier-Maltese, stuffed her in a bag and tossed it down a trash chute, sources said.

The dog was later rescued after the super heard her barking.

“Getting the dog back was a Christmas gift,’’ said her relieved owner, who asked that his name not be printed.

The 22-year-old man said two masked men, armed with pistols and a hammer, knocked on his door and forced their way into his home at around 3:10 a.m. Dec. 15.

Jennett Leandre, 23, was arrested and charged with assault, robbery, burglary and menacing.

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Miami: We’re still busiest cruise port

Florida’s ports are steaming bow-to-bow in the race to be the world’s businest cruise ship port.

Though some publications have reported Port Canaveral in the lead with 3,761,056 million for its fiscal year ending Sept. 30, PortMiami officials Monday said they had hosted 3,774,452 passengers during the same period, putting it slightly ahead. Fort Lauderdale’s PortEverglades reported 3,689,000 passengers for the period, putting it slightly behind the others in third place.

“We’re all very close,’’ said Paula Musto, PortMiami spokeswoman.

PortMiami has slipped below its previous high of 4 million plus passengers because of changing ship deployments, she said. That number is expected to again cruise past 4 million in 2013 as several new ships homeport in Miami.

Jane Wooldridge

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Police: 16-year-old shot and killed while riding bicycle in Miami

A 16-year-old boy was shot and killed while riding his bicycle in Miami over the weekend, and on Monday his family will ask for help finding the killer.

Bryan Herrera was riding his bike Saturday afternoon, going to a friend’s house, when he was shot, according to Miami police. He was struck once, near Northwest 11th Avenue and 39th Street in Allapattah, police said.

Officers found him a few minutes after 11 a.m., after receiving a call to 911 saying a person had been shot and appeared to be lifeless on the ground.

Bryan was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital’s Ryder Trauma Center, police said, where he died. Sunday night, police said they had very little information describing the shooter.

Bryan’s family is scheduled to speak to reporters Monday at Miami police headquarters.

Investigators asked anyone with information to call Miami-Dade County Crime Stoppers, anonymously, at 305-471-8477.

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Saudi website editor could face death for apostasy-rights group

RIYADH (Reuters) – The editor of a Saudi Arabian website could be sentenced to death after a judge cited him for apostasy and moved his case to a higher court, the monitoring group Human Rights Watch said on Saturday.

Raif Badawi, who started the Free Saudi Liberals website to discuss the role of religion in Saudi Arabia, was arrested in June, Human Rights Watch said.

Badawi had initially been charged with the less serious offence of insulting Islam through electronic channels, but at a December 17 hearing a judge referred him to a more senior court and recommended he be tried for apostasy, the monitoring group said.

Apostasy, the act of changing religious affiliation, carries an automatic death sentence in Saudi Arabia, along with crimes including blasphemy.

Badawi’s website included articles that were critical of senior religious figures, the monitoring group said.

A spokesman for Saudi Arabia’s Justice Ministry was not available to comment.

The world’s top oil exporter follows the strict Wahhabi school of Islam and applies Islamic law, or sharia.

Judges base their decisions on their own interpretation of religious law rather than on a written legal code or on precedent.

King Abdullah, Saudi Arabia’s ruler, has pushed for reforms to the legal system, including improved training for judges and the introduction of precedent to standardize verdicts and make courts more transparent.

However, Saudi lawyers say that conservatives in the Justice Ministry and the judiciary have resisted implementing many of the changes that he announced in 2007. (Reporting By Angus McDowall; Editing by Kevin Liffey)

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Bethenny Frankel Separates From Husband of 2 Years

After two years of marriage, TV personality Bethenny Frankel and husband Jason Hoppy are separating.

"'It brings me great sadness to say that Jason and I are separating. This was an extremely difficult decision that as a woman and a mother, I have to accept as the best choice for our family. We have love and respect for one another and will continue to amicably co-parent our daughter who is and will always remain our first priority. This is an immensely painful and heartbreaking time for us," the former Real Housewives of New York City star's rep said in a statement.

Frankel, 42, also tweeted: "I am heartbroken. I am sad. We will work through this as a family."

In 2010, the couple were married and had their daughter, Bryn. Frankel and Hoppy's relationship was then documented in two reality TV shows, Bethenny Getting Married? and Bethenny Ever After...

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Afghan policewoman kills US adviser: police

KABUL, Afghanistan — An Afghan policewoman shot and killed an American adviser outside the police headquarters in Kabul on Monday, the latest in a rising tide of insider attacks by Afghans against their foreign allies, senior Afghan officials said.

The woman, identified as Afghan police Sgt. Nargas, had entered a strategic compound in the heart of the capital and shot the adviser with a pistol as he came out of a small shop with articles he had just bought, Kabul Governor Abdul Jabar Taqwa told The Associated Press.

The woman was taken into Afghan custody shortly after the attack.

Earlier, she had asked bystanders where the governor's office was located, the governor said. As many Afghans, the policewoman uses only one name.

A NATO command spokesman, U.S. Air Force Lt. Col. Lester T. Carroll, said the woman was arrested after the incident. The slain adviser was a contractor whose identity wasn't immediately released.

The attack occurred outside the police headquarters in a walled, highly secure compound which also houses the governor's office, courts and a prison. Kabul Deputy Police Chief Mohammad Daoud Amin said an investigation was under way.

He said Nargas, a mother of four, had worked with a human rights department of the police for two years and had earlier been a refugee in Pakistan and Iran. She could enter the compound armed because as a police officer she was licensed to carry a pistol, the police official said. Amin did not know whether the killer and victim were acquainted.

"We can confirm that a civilian police adviser was shot and killed this morning by a suspected member of the Afghan uniformed police. The suspected shooter is in Afghan custody," Carroll said.

Canadian Brig. Gen. John C. Madower, a command spokesman in Kabul, called the incident "a very sad occasion" and said his "prayers are with the loved ones of the deceased."

The killing came just hours after an Afghan policeman shot five of his colleagues at a checkpoint in northern Afghanistan late Monday. The attacker then stole his colleague's weapons and fled to join the Taliban, said deputy provincial governor in Jawzjan province, Faqir Mohammad Jawzjani.

More than 60 international allies, including troops and civilian advisers, have been killed by Afghan soldiers or police this year, and a number of other insider attacks as they are known are still under investigations. NATO forces, due to mostly withdraw from the country by 2014, have speeded up efforts to train and advise Afghan military and police units before the pullout.

The surge in insider attacks is throwing doubt on the capability of the Afghan security forces to take over from international troops and has further undermined public support for the 11-year war in NATO countries.

It has also stoked suspicion among some NATO units of their Afghan counterparts, although others enjoy close working relations with Afghan military and police.

As such attacks mounted this year, U.S. officials in Kabul and Washington insisted they were "isolated incidents" and withheld details. An AP investigation earlier this month showed that at least 63 coalition troops — mostly Americans — had been killed and more than 85 wounded in at least 46 insider attacks. That's an average of nearly one attack a week. In 2011, 21 insider attacks killed 35 coalition troops.

There have also been incidents of Taliban and other militants dressing in Afghan army and police uniforms to infiltrate NATO installations and attack foreigners.

In February, two U.S. soldiers — Lt. Col. John D. Loftis and Maj. Robert J. Marchanti, died from wounds received during an attack by an Afghan policeman at the Interior Ministry in Kabul. The incident forced NATO to temporarily pull out their advisers from a number of ministries and police units and revise procedures in dealing with Afghan counterparts.

The latest known insider attack took place Nov. 11 when a British soldier, Capt. Walter Reid Barrie, was killed by an Afghan army soldier during a football match between British and Afghan soldiers in the restive southern province of Helmand.

More than 50 Afghan members of the government's security forces also have died this year in attacks by their own colleagues. Taliban militants claim such attacks reflect a growing popular opposition to both foreign military presence and the Kabul government.

In Sunday's attack, Jawzjani, the provincial official, said the attacker was an Afghan policeman manning a checkpoint in Dirzab District who turned his weapon on five colleagues before fleeing to the militant Islamist group.

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90-year-old real estate baron Jay Kislak is forever young

Real estate baron Jay I. Kislak discovered a Fountain of Youth of sorts that springs from an inquisitive and acquisitive mind.

At 90, Kislak is wheeling and dealing in real estate, and he’s exploring history and art with the fervor of a man generations younger.

The patriarch of The Kislak Organization marked 74 years in real estate this year, 59 spent in Miami.

While he has long since appointed a protégé, Thomas Bartelmo, as president and CEO of the diverse family-owned real-estate businesses, Kislak remains chairman. And he is a regular at the headquarters in Miami Lakes.

That is, when he’s not off to Maine for the summer.

Or busy chairing a blue-ribbon commission named by the U.S. Interior Secretary to orchestrate the 450th anniversary in 2015 of the founding of St. Augustine.

Or jetting off to evaluate a possible acquisition. (Kislak recently looked at the potential for real estate development in North Dakota, booming with shale oil, but decided to pass.)

Kislak’s empire has gone through dramatic changes over the years. He built — and eventually sold — commercial banking, mortgage servicing and insurance firms.

Today, with annual revenue in excess of $28 million, his organization focuses on the commercial brokerage business started by his father, Julius Kislak, in Hoboken, N.J., more than a century ago; on owning a portfolio of apartments and other property (Kislak is on the prowl for more), and on managing funds of property-tax certificates, a niche created by the economic downturn.

Looking out his office window at a bustling interchange recently, Kislak mused: “I remember when they built the Palmetto Expressway and you could drive down it and never see another car.”

“The same thing with I-95: There was hardly any traffic,” said Kislak, a slender man with a signature mustache and a thick Hoboken accent that never faded.

Kislak moved to Miami in 1953 to grow the mortgage business, but his world view hardly dates to 1950s Florida. Already a book lover, he began pulling on a thread of Florida history, soon broadening his interest to the early Americas.

Over the decades, Kislak, bankrolled by a stream of brokerage commissions, mortgage fees and apartment rent, grew into a prominent collector of rare books and maps, manuscripts, artifacts and art to feed his fascination with the pre-Columbian era and the European exploration of America.

His wife Jean Kislak shares his passion for collecting. They met at a party for Andy Warhol; it would be her second marriage, his third. Their quest for art, history and collecting has taken them to all continents, even Antarctica.

“We don’t quit [collecting]. But we are going to quit,” said Jean, a former corporate art director. “Acquisition has always been a part of my life. I don’t know if it’s a sickness.”

In 2004, Kislak gave away much of the treasure. His foundation donated more than 3,000 rare maps, manuscripts, paintings and artifacts to the Library of Congress. The gift, estimated to be worth in excess of $150 million, is housed in the ornate Thomas Jefferson building in an exhibit that bears his name. Kislak also funds fellowships for studies of the collection, part of his diverse efforts over the years to support education. Among other things, his family foundation endowed the Kislak Real Estate Institute at Monmouth University, in West Long Branch, N.J., and has provided key support to a real estate program at Florida State University.

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Gov. Scott working on syllabus for Florida colleges: Less expensive and more practical

TALLAHASSEE --
Gov. Rick Scott went to college with one goal: make money.

He didn’t join a fraternity or become active in student government. He took only the classes he needed for his degree and not a credit more.

Married when he attended community college, he paid for a bachelor’s degree at the University of Missouri-Kansas City with help from the G.I. Bill. And he worked full time in a donut shop he purchased with a friend.

The boy who grew up wanting to be rich knew from the start he wanted to become an attorney.

For Scott, college was a means to an end. Now he wants Florida colleges and universities to have the same razor-sharp focus — rein in tuition costs and create cheaper degrees that can get graduates jobs.

It’s an approach to higher education that has put Scott at odds with educators who argue dollars and cents aren’t the only factors determining the worth of a degree.

But Scott is convinced his ideas are best for the bottom lines of both the state and students.

And he’s got his personal history to prove it.

Cost is cornerstone

As a kid, Scott’s family didn’t have much. He vowed to become an adult who didn’t have to worry about money.

Becoming a lawyer, however, meant earning degrees his family could not afford. So he figured out a way to pay for it himself.

“I think junior college cost $200 a semester and the university cost $255 a semester. ... I could work 40 hours a week and be able to pay for my school,” said Scott, 60.

He spent a couple of years in the Navy as a radar technician, using his spare time to pass correspondence courses that earned credit toward an associate’s degree. That military experience made him eligible for financial aid through the G.I. Bill.

He returned home and attended the University of Missouri-Kansas City to earn a bachelor’s degree in 1975. But he also worked full time running a donut shop and set aside money that, along with his federal financial aid, paid for a law degree from Southern Methodist University in Dallas.

As governor, cost is now the cornerstone of Scott’s higher education policy. He worries that tuition increases are putting college out of reach for working-class families like his.

“My wife and I put ourselves through college. We would not have been able to do it with tuition as high as it is today,” Scott said in a recent weekly radio address. “We must make our colleges more affordable for Florida families.”

He called on universities to halt tuition increases and vetoed a bill last year that would have allowed top-tier schools like the University of Florida and Florida State University to charge whatever they wanted in tuition.

More recently, state colleges have lined up to meet Scott’s challenge to create bachelor’s programs that cost $10,000 or less.

Universities have told Scott they are willing to hold the line on tuition, but only if the state agrees to contribute additional funding.

“I actually believe what Gov. Scott is saying about keeping tuition low is great,” said FSU President Eric Barron. “But that means then that the state has to fund the universities if we’re going to maintain the quality that the citizens in the state of Florida deserve.”

Pushing ‘practical’ degrees

But it’s not just the cost of degrees.

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The ‘Teen Mom’ Twitter Proposal

Hmm. Teen mom from Teen Mom Maci Bookout was on Twitter the other day when she received a tweet from the father of her child asking her to marry him. No lie! Ryan Edwards from Teen Dad — Huh? What’s that? There’s no such show? He’s just on Teen Mom? Oh, OK — was all “Maci Bookout marry me!” And Maci was all “Ur s–t got hacked BRO! Outta ur mind haha.” And then Ryan was all “would never let that happen.” Maci asked what he was playing at and then Ryan said, omg, “It means that I want to get on one knee and tell you how much I love you.” Whoaaaa! That’s huge! Maci, marry that boy! He just proposed to you sort of maybe on Twitter! How romantic! Also you have a four-year-old child together so maybe it would be easier to be married, I dunno, for like legal reasons or something? But no. Alas. Maci responded to that saying “Twitter is not the place. Ima kill u.” So wait. If we’re going to take Ryan’s sweet Twitter proposal seriously, which we’re going to, I guess that means we have to take Maci‘s Twitter death threat seriously, too? Police, go arrest Maci. As much as it pains us to say it. Fair’s fair. Ryan, you can marry Maci while she’s in jail. Bentley, which is the name of the child that made all of this, literally all of this, possible, can come live with Ryan while Maci serves her sentence. Sad that such a sweet moment had to end so tragically. But that’s Twitter for you. [Us Weekly]

RELATED: James Franco Has a New Girl

Haha/Ew: Lindsay Lohan said she would not kiss Charlie Sheen when they were filming their scene for Scary Movie 5 because “his mouth grossed her out.” Yes. That’s actually the headline of the TMZ post: “Lindsay REFUSED to Kiss Charlie … Because His Mouth Grossed Her Out.” Man. In a thousand years, when the aliens are sifting through our bones and ashes to learn about the civilization they just annihilated, they’re going to somehow find a list of TMZ headlines and will shake their big gelatinous heads and figure they were right to wipe us out. TMZ headlines. Wooftie. But back to Lindsay, I don’t blame her. You couldn’t pay me a trillion dollars to kiss Charlie Sheen. Why not just pay me ten bucks to lick a wall at the Port Authority? Honestly. Here’s a good line from the story: “we’re told BOTH parties had to sign releases that they didn’t have cold sores.” Which, holy hell, guys. If you have to do that to film a stupid movie, maybe it’s time to pack a suitcase and more to Uruguay. Like, chuck this rotten life aside and say see you soon, Montevideo. You’d be so much happier. It’s supposed to be great down there. It’s time for a change, you guys. Don’t be another TMZ headline. [TMZ]

RELATED: Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan Made Out

Naomi Campbell ate at the new Beatrice Inn on Wednesday night, hobbling in on crutches and in a leg brace after she tore a ligament or something. She ate with Vogue editor Carlyne Cerf de Dudzeele and a photographer named Steven Meisel. At a table nearby, Vera Wang, Calvin Klein, and Donna Karan were all having dinner. Excuse me?? What happened next? Did they all go to a screening of Unzipped and then to the after party, where the Spin Doctors were playing? Was everyone talking about the last MTV Top 20 and if Idalis is better than Daisy Fuentes? I mean, what? Naomi Campbell walks into a restaurant and Calvin Klein, Donna Karan, and Vera freaking Wang are eating nearby? Was Betsey Johnson the busboy? Was Cindy Crawford sweating on the line as a cook? Honestly. I didn’t realize they were still filming Prêt-à-Porter. Good grief. [Page Six]

RELATED: The 2012 Gossip Stories We Loved

Did you know that Kelly Clarkson is engaged to Reba McEntire‘s stepson? Because she is. Kelly Clarkson is engaged to Reba McEntire‘s stepson. So engaged, in fact, that Reba thinks the two might elope. Or at least she “wouldn’t be surprised” if they did. Because some big wedding wouldn’t really be Kelly’s style, apparently. Reba said as much: “That was never my deal and I don’t know that that’s Kelly’s either.” Oh, man. I wish Reba would say “that was never my deal” in a sentence about me. What a nice life Kelly Clarkson has had. Famous from a TV show and then actually famous, respectably famous. And now she gets to marry into Reba McEntire‘s family. It’s all coming together for Kelly Clarkson, guys. Just in time for the end of the world. [Us Weekly]

RELATED: In Which Taylor Swift and One Direction’s Harry Styles Get Serious

Jessica Biel has been doing a tour of Broadway recently. First she went to see Book of Mormon and afterward tweeted thusly: “Book of Mormon was too good for words . . . Except for words like amazing and best musical I’ve seen in forever and incredible!” Which is a totally boring thing to say about Book of Mormon. Here’s the skinny on that show: It’s not that good. Actually, forget the italics. It’s just not that good. Just because a Broadway musical swears and says “scrotum” a lot, does not mean it is being daring or irreverent. It’s a wan show that actually totally gives Mormonism a pass and instead averts your gaze to freaking Africa, which it just makes fun of for two hours because who’s gonna fight back on that one? Toothless and dim, that show. Entertaining, but toothless and dim. Whatever. Jessica Biel then went to go see ScarJo in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, which good heavens I didn’t know that was in previews already. That is a nightmare. She’s playing Maggie the Cat, ScarJo is. Can you believe that? Well, believe it or not, she is. And Jessica Biel went to go see it. Tellingly, no tweets about that. Ha, not a single damn tweet about that heap. Anyway, all this playgoing has Page Six wondering if J.Biel might be hungry for a Broadway show of her own. Which would be a fine mess, wouldn’t it? Unless they do a Seventh Heaven stage play, something really serious and earnest, in which case I would walk Ms. Biel to the theater myself. But otherwise? Nope. Get thee back to the Stealth 2 set, Biel. Return to where you belong. [Page Six]

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Buzzmakers: New X Factor and Miss Universe Winners

What had ET readers buzzing this week?

1. 'The X Factor' Crowns A Winner!

And the $5 million recording contract goes to…

Tate Stevens! The 37-year-old country crooner beat out runner-up 13-year-old Carly Rose Sonenclar for the top prize Thursday night. 35 million votes were cast Wednesday to determine victory for L.A. Reid's mentee.

Near tears, the Raymore, Missouri native thanked his fans for their overwhelming support.

"This is the best day of my life," said an emotional Stevens.

Girl group Fifth Harmony, mentored by Simon Cowell, placed third in the competition. Earlier in the night, the holiday themed finale saw performances by One Direction and Pitbull.

Auditions for an all-new season of The X Factor USA have already begun online. In-person auditions will start on March 6, 2013 in Los Angeles.

The celebrity judging panel has yet to be announced, but L.A. Reid has already taken himself out of the running. Spears has expressed interest in returning to the show for season three, but nothing has been confirmed.

2. Miss Universe 2012 Crowned

Beauties from 89 countries strutted their stuff Wednesday night in pursuit of the Miss Universe crown, but only one woman would earn the coveted title.

In the end a panel of ten celebrity judges, including Cee Lo Green and U.S. Olympic gold medalist Kerri Walsh Jennings, appointed Miss USA Olivia Culpo the winner.

The 20-year-old Rhode Island native beat out Miss Brazil (Gabriela Markus) Miss Philippines (Janine Tugonon), Miss Mexico (Irene Sofía Esser Quintero), and Miss Australia (Renae Ayris) for the distinction.

Culpo follows in the footsteps of Miss Angola, Leila Lopes, who earned the crown in 2011.

The two-hour show was broadcast live from Las Vegas with musical acts One Direction and Train lending their talents to the annual extravaganza.

3. Exclusive: Arsenio on His Late Night TV Return

Break out the Woof! Woof! fist pump: Arsenio Hall is coming back to late night TV in the Fall of 2013 after a 17-year break from the game, and only ET is behind the scenes with the timeless talk show host as he shoots his first-ever promo for The Arsenio Hall Show!

"[This is] the first time America will see anything on television about the show," says Arsenio. "Instead of a commercial where I do something like say, 'I'm baaaaack' -- and everybody's, 'Ugh' -- they've come up with a real, unique, creative angle that -- actually, I looked at dailies, and it scared me. I looked at the dailies and I frightened myself."

The trailer-length promo from CBS Television Distribution pays homage to horror movies and begins airing today on all Arsenio Hall Show affiliate stations, kicking off the campaign for the new late night syndicated talk show that will be seen all across the country next year.

"I'm real excited about this; so many things have changed in pop culture since I left the air," says Arsenio about his return to late night. "I can't wait."

The Arsenio Hall Show premieres on 9/9/13. Look for much more with Arsenio between now and then, only on ET!

4. Claire Danes Gives Birth

It's a boy!

Homeland star Claire Danes and her husband Hugh Dancy welcomed their very first child together on Monday, December 17, her rep confirms to People Magazine.

The proud parents named their bouncing baby boy Cyrus Michael Christopher Dancy.

Danes, 33, wed Dancy, 37, in 2009 after two years of dating.

5. President Obama is Time's Person of the Year

For 2012, Time Magazine has selected President Barack Obama as their Person of the Year.

"For finding and forging a new majority, for turning weakness into opportunity and for seeking, amid great adversity, to create a more perfect union, Barack Obama is Time's 2012 Person of the Year," Time's Managing Editor Richzard Stengel explained.

He also cited both of the president's re-elections, snagging over 50 percent of the popular vote, as one reason he received this honor.

This is the second year Time has tapped Obama as their Person of the Year -- he previously was selected in 2008 for becoming the first black president of the United States.

Time previously named the eight finalists for 2012's Person of the Year. They included: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Apple CEO Tim Cook, Malala Yousafzai (the Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban for her crusade for better girls' education), Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer, Egyptian president Mohamed Morsi and the three scientists who discovered the Higgs Boson particle.

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True meanings of Christmas

There are certain Christmas traditions that seem like they’ve been with us forever, from putting aside December 25 to celebrate the birth of the sun, to our collective worship of the great god Woden.

On second though, maybe things have changed more than we like to admit.

“The History of Christmas,” a new e-book by Wyatt North, recounts the history of many of the Christmas traditions we take for granted, showing how so many of these customs are as amorphous as they are joyous.

Here are just some of the treasured beliefs North helps shed a bit of Christmas light upon.

AP

The Rockefeller Center tree — slightly taller than Martin Luthor’s original Christmas tree.

CELEBRATING ON DECEMBER 25

North points out that early Christians in Europe “were part of an agrarian, pagan culture,” and that their early traditions included a post-harvest winter celebration called Saturnalia which “paid homage to the gods who ruled all aspects of sowing, planting and harvest.”

Consisting of “feasts, festivities and festivals” that included “conspicuous indulgence” and “raucous behavior,” Saturnalia took place in mid- to-late December to “honor the god of the sun, Saturn.”

Several other pagan celebrations — including one praising the birth of “the unconquerable sun” and another that worshipped “Mithra, the god of fertility, who was the son of the sun” — took place on the birth date of their gods, December 25.

Early Christian converts, writes North, were torn between the massive (and enjoyable) pagan feasts they had come to know and the life of relative moral austerity to which they were committing. As such, Christian celebrations often carried pagan elements over from their prior beliefs.

Understandably, this caused dissension between strictly religious Christians and those with a more lax and nostalgic approach, especially as some Christians continued worshipping the sun. North tells of how, in the 5th century, “Pope Leo lamented in a sermon that upon entering the basilica to celebrate Christ’s nativity, worshippers turned on the stairs to face the rising sun and bowed.”

When an 8th century English bishop was “horrified” by the “pagan debauchery” he saw over Christmastime in Rome, he wrote to Pope Zacharias, who in turn unleashed a barrage of cruelty and violence in order to curb the practice, establishing a tradition of Saturnalia horror that lasted for centuries.

But within this, the holiday also evolved, with 1103 seeing the introduction of the Old English phrase “Cristes-Maesse,” meaning the Mass of Christ. That phrase eventually morphed into the word we know today.

While the celebration itself remained controversial for centuries, so too was the date of this worship, as North reminds us that “the exact date of Christ’s birth is a controversial topic.” December 25 had been revered by early pagans, but Christians long settled on January 6 as their day of “epiphany, meaning God’s manifestation to humanity.”

Have a comment on this PostOpinion column? Send it in to LETTERS@NYPOST.COM!

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Time’s up for holiday shopping procrastinators

Last minute shoppers like Josette Tyne are in luck this year.

With a long weekend before Christmas, retailers want to make it easier for procrastinators to finish their gift buying. Macy’s for the first time is keeping all its stores open around the clock from Friday until Sunday at midnight. Toys “R” Us and Walmart Supercenters will be open non-stop until Christmas Eve.

Even those retailers skipping the all nighter still have added extended hours often as late as 11 pm or midnight. Coupled with a flurry of last minute promotions, they hope to lure shoppers, many of whom have been largely sitting on the sidelines since Black Friday.

Tyne, 33, just starting her shopping this week at Aventura Mall, armed with a list of about two dozen people and the presents they wanted. The list would have been longer if the Fort Lauderdale resident hadn’t limited it to the kids in her family.

“I’ll probably be shopping every day from now till Sunday,” said Tyne, as she wheeled the youngest of her three boys around H&M in a stroller before heading on to Game Stop, Urban Outfitters and BCBG. “Whatever catches my eye. Luckily the kids usually like everything I get. I’m the awesome Auntie.”

A Consumer Reports Poll released earlier this week found that with just five shopping days left until Christmas, a whopping 68 percent of shoppers — a projected 132 million Americans — have yet to finish their holiday shopping.

With an early Thanksgiving leaving an extra week until Christmas and a long weekend before Tuesday’s holiday, shoppers have felt little need to rush. They also haven’t found December deals to be quite as compelling as the November sales.

Based on disappointing sales trends earlier this month, ShopperTrak said Wednesday it was cutting its holiday sales forecast. The company, which counts foot traffic and its own proprietary sales numbers from 40,000 retail outlets across the country, now expects a 2.5 percent sales increase to $257.7 billion, down from the 3.3 percent growth it initially predicted. The National Retail Federation is sticking with its prediction of a 4.1 percent sales increase.

Online sales trends are more encouraging, up 13 percent to $35 billion from Nov. 1 through Dec. 16, according to comScore, an online research firm. But that pace is below the forecast of 17 percent for the season.

“It’s coming down to the wire,” said David Bassuk, managing director and co-head of the retail practice at AlixPartners, a global consulting firm. “It’s going to require retailers to be more aggressive with their promotions than they were hoping heading into the weekend.”

While the economy is certainly in a better position than it was during the recession, many consumers still feel uneasy this year about their financial future. Some are worried about the U.S. job market and others fear the stalemate between Congress and the White House over federal “fiscal cliff’’ that could lead to tax increases and less disposable income for shoppers.

That was the case for Latonya Jones, on the hunt for bargains at Aventura Mall, coupon-loaded iPad in hand.

“I wasn’t going to buy anything this year, because I wanted to save money,” said Jones, 39, of Miami Gardens, who was shopping with her daughter Richelle, 12, this week in Macy’s. “But then I changed my mind.”

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